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Wardlaw's Xenobiology

 
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Rob Jones



Joined: 08 Nov 2007
Posts: 327
Location: Somerset

PostPosted: Fri Sep 03, 2010 7:32 pm    Post subject: Wardlaw's Xenobiology Reply with quote

After the weekend's discussions I thought it might be worthwhile re-capping on the astounding creatures that have been discovered by the regiment over the years.

The Rubbery Chicken of Ledbury - are rare beast, only two were left surviving by the time of the musters of Ledbury in the early nineties, the rest having been over-farmed to provide companions for oil-rig workers (so went the story anyway). Living off of canned sweetcorn, the last surviving member of the species was finally laid to rest just outside of Ledbury in a funeral with full military honours (pall bearers, reversed arms, muffled drums etc). Now lies under a housing estate.

The Pygmy Marmoset - Studies are currently in progress to train a team of these creatures to serve a Moncrieff Disappearing Gun housed in Abbey's drum.

The Bavarian Womble - Whilst the British Womble still clings to survival on Wimbledon common, its Bavarian cousin is now extinct, hunted for their meat in order to make the delicacy Womblewurst (just say it with an outrageous German accent). The creature's existence is attested by the survival of the German verb Wombeln; literally to wander heathland collecting detritus for re-use.

A tableau in the hunting gallery of the Royal Armoury Leeds depicts a medieval hunter spanning his crossbow behind a fine example of a so-called 'stalking-womble'.

The Marmite Whale - another creature now lost to the world, these magnificent and noble creatures were hunted to extinction by Australian whalers seeking to render them down for the marmicetti oil, the primary ingredient of true marmite and vegemite.
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The Huntsman of Soest



Joined: 28 Dec 2008
Posts: 68
Location: Somerset

PostPosted: Fri Sep 03, 2010 7:56 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

A fine bestiary, DR. Jones , but you omit the Wardlawe's Gorilla. A phantom simeon once known to haunt SK campsites, and pounce on innocent dragoons as they leave the beer tent. After stealing all their money and bashing them over the head, it then urinated in their mouth. It seemed to be most active in the early 1990's but evidence of it's survival has recently been recorded by younger dragoons at Basing House.
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Rob Jones



Joined: 08 Nov 2007
Posts: 327
Location: Somerset

PostPosted: Fri Sep 03, 2010 8:16 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Good lord, how could I omit that foul creature!

Thank you for adding him to our list; let us hope that your elucidation of his foul behaviours makes us all more watchful for his appearance...
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Captaingeneral



Joined: 09 Mar 2009
Posts: 13
Location: Burnham on Sea

PostPosted: Sat Sep 04, 2010 5:57 pm    Post subject: The Lucky Mare of Dunbar Reply with quote

Another fabled beast we encountered backalong was the Lucky Mare of Dunbar, only really seen by Greg Bunn who lost his spleen but gained the order of the Golden Horse-Shoe for his encounter........... Very Happy
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bigmartin



Joined: 26 Mar 2008
Posts: 116
Location: Bristol

PostPosted: Wed Sep 15, 2010 12:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I have to add the Ferocious Shrew of Stowe Gardens which could see off a number of otherwise brave dragoons with its ear piercing cry.
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bluefish



Joined: 25 Mar 2008
Posts: 56
Location: Bristol

PostPosted: Wed Sep 15, 2010 9:41 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ah! the dragoon eating shrew of Stowe Gardens. Oh the fear it's blood curdling cry put in us all. This tell is told to many a young dragoon on dark winter's nights.........
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